26 June 2009

the first "first" we've missed

i can't tell you how relieved i am that marianne is adjusting so easily to daycare. it really takes a load off of the mind but in its place is a burden on the heart. i know that from this point on there are going to many "firsts" that we won't get to have...and it has already begun. yesterday at daycare marianne rolled over from her back to her tummy. she's been working on it for a few days and almost did it for her daddy and i on wednesday evening. i just knew it was inevitable that yesterday would be the day and as i looked over her "report card" when she got home last night, there it was in the notes: "rolled over on tummy!" i bawled. my first real cry since she started on wednesday.

i know that daycare is a great thing for kids. i know we're doing the right thing and that it will be so good for her socially and in many other ways but it just hurts so much to know that i'm not the one anymore who will be blessed with her many milestones to come. argh.

it does give me comfort that her daddy and i were the first to see her roll from tummy to back a few weeks ago. she's yet to do it again but no one can ever take that one away from us! AND when we played with her last night, she rolled over from back to tummy for us. it was still the sweetest thing i've ever seen, even if i wasn't the first to see it.

1 comment:

Nat said...

missing "firsts" is so hard. we missed an entire YEAR of "firsts" with Stella. but even if you aren't the first to see it, it is still a "first" for you and just because it wasn't her ACTUAL first doesn't make it any less special. you just have to remember that! it got me through a YEAR of waiting!